“You have to know how to communicate love to a child so that he genuinely feels loved.” Chapman, who years later cowrote The 5 Love Languages of Children. It’s not enough to love your kids, says Dr. These five love languages of kids aren’t just for children, but apply to adults too.Ĭhapman’s works says that we all express love, and experience it, in the same five ways-through physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, and acts of service - but everyone has one way particular way that matters most to them. It wasn’t until I discovered the five love languages, before I could put my finger on why our connection wasn’t as strong as it was with my girls.Īfter reading an article about Gary Chapman, Ph.D., a marriage counselor known for his best-seller The 5 Love Languages of Children I found the missing link to his behavior and why nothing I was doing, seemed to work. Then he began fighting with his twin sister.Īt first I thought it was having a new baby in the house that made him feel jealous, but when his behavior didn’t let up after a year, I felt like there had to be another explanation of what was going on.ĭifferent kids crave different kinds of attention and affection. My 3-year-old son, Trenton, was (and is still) a sweet, generous and loving little boy who makes drawings and brings presents for his friends to “make them happy.” Yet, shortly after my youngest daughter was born, I’d see him destroy his toys or hide his baby sister’s pacifier or sound-machine sheep in odd places. When my son was three and half, that’s when the shift happened. It’s not that we weren’t connected, but it felt like our relationship was rockier and occasionally stuck in a cycle of power struggles, and while I had tried one-on-one dates and praise, it still felt like something was missing. That’s why I’d been trying so hard to figure out – for years – to figure out the right formula to connect with my son. In fact, all my books say the parent child relationship is built upon connection and this is what gives kids confidence, reassures them they are in fact lovable and connection is like a safety net so resilient kids will try new, hard things without fear of failure. A parent’s love and affection has a great deal of influence on a child’s development. There is nothing that’s more important for a child than to feel loved, safe and accepted by a parent. I learned a long time ago reading through my stack of parenting books how important connection is for children. If your child’s love language is gifts or words of affirmation, then Daily Affirmation Cards for Kidswould be a great fit! Know the 5 love languages of kids to strength your parent child relationship, and stave off misbehavior.
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